By Judith Martin, Nicholas Martin and Jacobina Martin,
Dear Miss Manners: I received an email regarding a job I applied for. It was sent from an email address with one name attached to it and was signed “p.p.” followed by two other names, separated by a slash:
Sent: Last Name 1, First Name 1, email address
Dear Ms. My Last Name,
Message
p.p. First Name 2 Last Name 2 / First Name 3 Last Name 3
To whom should I address my reply? Also, I would like to reply addressing the correct person (or people) using the format Ms. Last Name or Mr. Last Name, but I cannot tell the gender of the third person by their first name. An Internet search for the person has not yielded any clues. How should I address the email?
The “p.p.” or “per procurationem” used to be legalese (a popular dialect of Latin) for, “Person 2 is sending the email on behalf of Person 1, because Person 1 does not know how to type.”
It has largely fallen out of use, due to email, but remains perfectly acceptable. In responding, you may address yourself directly to Person 1. Or you may respond to Person 2 (assuming you have Person 2’s email), asking that your response be shared with Person 1. As Person 3 just seems to be along for the ride, Miss Manners gives permission to ignore him. Or her.
Dear Miss Manners: I’ve wondered for some time now whether it is acceptable to open a bottle of wine and have a half-consumed glass in your hand when your dinner guests arrive. I find it’s nice to loosen up and enjoy those first few sips while I finish the preparations.
Is it rude to have started drinking before your guests arrive? Does it make them feel obligated to continue having what you’ve just opened? Should you still open the bottle they have brought as soon as they come in?
I’ve been thinking more about this recently, as my husband and I have been participating in socially distant happy hours with another couple. When we meet them at the park or picnic table, is it okay for us to show up a few minutes early, open the bottle and enjoy a glass before they arrive? Or is this akin to starting the meal before everyone’s been seated?
Cocktail hour does not have as fixed a start clock as a meal; in normal times, you would be serving drinks as guests arrive. (Serving whatever they may bring is optional, as it is intended as a present.)
This blurs the situation enough to cover reasonable behavior. Who knows that the glass in your hand was not intended for a guest who arrived earlier?
The exception can even, Miss Manners supposes, be extended to include your early arrival at the picnic table. Just promise her that, when home entertaining returns, you will never greet your guests by calling over your shoulder, “Honey, the Cartwrights are here” and punctuating it with a gulp from said glass.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
2020, by Judith Martin
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